“When it happens, it’s worth all the rejections and the criticism” – an interview with Rebekah Asselstine

"The real glitz and glam... is putting your heart and soul out there for people to connect to."

About Rebekah – actor, singer, dancer

Rebekah Asselstine was born on June 27, 1990 in New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada. She is an actress, known for Body Language (2014), The Unseen (2016) and Last Night in Suburbia (2015). She also appeared in commercials for Time Warner Cable, Sonic Radio, Donnelly Night Life, and Subaru (National). In addition, as an actor, singer, and dancer Rebekah has appeared in music videos for Brooke Turner (Convince Me), Kyle Eeep (Get it Right), and BY Starlight (Love me Love me).

You can also check her out in her own music video A Night to Forget.

She recently did an original song for a movie called “Wiener dog internationals.” It is being released to Netflix, and her song Starting Line was the main single for the movie.  

The Interview

1. What is the force that drives you forward? What fuels your ambition?

The unknown, to be honest, really pushes me. With every project I work on, I surprise myself and it turns into an addiction – I want more. It’s an experience that is constantly needing to be fuelled and in this industry that is a tough thing to do. Which is why creating your own projects and doing the work to be taken seriously for bigger opportunities is ideal. If you really love it, you do it.

2. Can you talk about your greatest “failure”? (something that led to your most significant shift in consciousness, and made you who you are today).

I wouldn’t say I’ve failed – even though at the darkest moments of a choice I have said to myself: “I’m a failure.”

But those choices of words get reflected on, and you can see the situation at hand as a learning experience and as game changer for the better.

If I had to pick a situation that changed me as an individual (and was looked at as a “failure”) it would be jumping into becoming a “Pop Sensation.”

I took a huge risk and trusted the guidance I was given when I was first developing as an artist. When you don’t do the work, research and get to know the business for YEARS (not just a couple of months) then you are taking a massive risk. I learnt that the hard way. I believed everything that was said to me. I really thought: if I get this music done and out there I will take off. Not the case at all.

You have to work to deserve it… for years. There are thousands of people who do exactly what I do and they do it better. We are all fighting to get the 1% chance of making it “BIG.” I looked at it all the wrong way because I wanted it so bad. I listened to the bullshit, the liars, the people pleasers and got set up for what ended up being a big bill and a “well that happened” moment.

But I look at it today, and see how much I grew from that experience. I see the strength I now have to do the hard work and keeping moving forward and trusting myself. It took a lot in me to accept the fact that being that touring pop artist isn’t realistic for me this late in the game. I unfortunately was tricked, and that was my own stupidity to fall for it. What I do know is that I still am an artist, and once I took control of my own cargo freight train of a wreck I got the feel of the wheel and am continuing to coast on this journey.

It feels good to say “Yes, I wrote that” and to be singing words that are realistic to me. Realness is key.

3. Are you happy? What does happiness mean to you?

Honestly I can say that I am happy in all areas of my life for the first time since I was a child. That took patience and a step back to go: ‘ok what the hell am I doing?’

I expected so much of myself that wasn’t realistic in all areas. I would constantly set myself up to be hurting inside. You think you can do it all but sometimes you just can’t, and you can end up spreading yourself so thin that you are just really bummed out.

I stopped doing that, met the love of my life, quit jobs that made me miserable, stepped up my game, worked my ass off, and sorted out a solid career for myself. Being stable in all areas gives you a lot of peace and happiness. Basically I have grown up a lot, and I’ve realized what is important and what isn’t and accepting it all really relieves me and makes me happy.

I’m an extremely happy individual most of the time in general, but I’ve found that when you find what fits and what works best for you (and the loved ones that surround you) it’s real happiness all around. Its a very nice time, and I highly recommend it… eating a donut works too.

4. What do you think is your greatest strength? On the reverse, can you identify a personal challenge (something you currently struggle with)?

I don’t give up. I don’t let the rejections get to me. I have done hundreds of auditions. I’ve been rejected and criticized, but I don’t let it stop me or make me upset.

You have to realize it is just  one person’s opinion. ONE. Then you’ve got to think there is ONE person that will give you a chance and see the talent that lays within.

When that happens, it’s worth all the rejections and the criticism. It’s just the way of the game, and you cannot take anything personally. You know your worth and that is all that matters.

5. When did you first realize that you wanted to be an artist? Can you talk about that moment or time in your life?

‘Natural born performer’ is what I always hear. I have been building up this artist inside of me since I was a little chetlin (kid). I loved having everyone watch me do my backyard shows, announcing at school for everyone to come watch my Spice Girls performance on the cement stairs, singing at church, making up dance routines, and creating photo shoots and sets when I was 5 and onward.

What else would I do if I couldn’t do the three?

‘No idea!’ is my answer.

I think it was placed in me during child development in the womb.

6. Habits, routine, morning rituals — What are the positive things you do daily that have had the most significant impact on your life and work?

Talking to the love of my life the moment I wake up is a routine, and an inspiration every day.

That is… if he is away for work that is the routine.

He is the most amazing being and it gives me that boost push for the day. I then go on to drinking smoothies, go on Instagram, get on the email train, read articles, shower, lotion, spray, outfit, get either in my car or on my bike – this week is bike week – and get to my stuff and act quick.

Depends what the work week holds for me, but the top impact is teaching my students. I cannot express the reward I get from teaching dance. It is the best job I could ask for. Movement and creativity from all these minds just fills my brain with inspiration. It affects me for the rest of the day and its always positive. Best case ontario.

7. How do you deal with doubt? Where do you go for support?

Self doubt comes in my weak stages when I don’t feel grounded and on top of my shit.

I do it to myself.

It also comes if I am concerned about a project I am working on, and not sure on my performance. If it isn’t going smooth I doubt my choices.

I always turn to my boyfriend and my parents. Always. My rocks. They listen, they help, they lead, and they inspire.

When I am lucky and get to see my grandparents when they come visit, or I get the lucky slight chance of going to see them, it’s a boost. Just listening to them talk about life brings me back from all the things going on in my head. I snap out of it and see what life is all about.

I have some beautiful figures in my life. I am beyond lucky to have such an amazing support team. The love is endless.

8. What, in your opinion, are the qualities of someone who is a “great” artist (in whatever discipline)?

Knowledge. I see and meet artists all the time and the ones that stand out to me are the ones who are full of knowledge outside of their work. Setting aside what they do to talk about real life, current events, their opinion on what is going on in the world. I can’t stand meeting people who talk about what they do only.

It just shows that this is as far as their knowledge goes. You need to be able to step away from what you do and talk about something completely different. You should know about so many other things that occur in this world – makes for good conversation and brings new ideas to the table.

9. Any advice for artists on a similar path? (Perhaps advice you wish you’d been given when you were first starting out).

It takes time and patience. As hungry as we all are to achieve the utmost greatness, it is best to sit back and let it unfold when it is time. Be natural, real, and stay true to who you are. Don’t let others alter your mind into thinking another way because you are enough, and unique as the person you came to be in this life.

10. Could you talk a little bit about your relationship to money? This is a less specific question, but I’m just curious about your thoughts on the topic. Has your relationship to money changed over the years?

Well money is real.

I used to think it wasn’t. It doesn’t achieve happiness, but it allows stability and that makes all worries and concerns fly out the window.

My relationship with money has drastically changed. I used to not care about it because I would get it when I wanted from my parents and think everything was just fine.Boy was that not the case.

When you earn it for yourself and take care of yourself it feels very good. I see it all very differently now and use it for things that are needed and useful. The whole “I want this” isn’t said often in my day to day speech anymore. I am in a happy place, I have love, stability, and food in my stomach. You don’t really need much more. I don’t ever want to be a spoiled needy being. I’ve accepted the good when it comes and make good use of it.

The stress goes when that mind set is in play. You also just fell like an adult horse too.

11. Ever experience flow/being in the zone? What does it feel like for you, and can you tell us about a time when you experienced it?

Being in the zone is a good feeling. Whether in dancing, acting, or singing… it’s the same zone feeling that comes up for me. It’s a nice hint of caffeine adrenaline high. Confidence is the key to ignite it. When I am ready and willing – it happens every time I guarantee. I like fast paced work.

When on set, for example, time is money.  You have to literally act quickly, but efficiently. You still have to be on your game so that ‘in the zone’ comes into play. Living in that moment and making it as real as you possibly can without force. You will always have good days and bad days with this type of stuff, but doing your best gets you through and pushes you to work harder on the next scene or project.

12. What is your favourite book?

The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald

I read it in high school. Ever since that book was in my hands, it has always impacted me.

The beautiful disaster of life.

Everything looks so sexy in life – but take it all down you see the real mess under it.

It’s a beautiful story tha triggers emotions for me. The glitz and glam to the industry I work in is all a show, and it’s not what it seems. Yes it’s amazing… but the real glitz and glam to me is putting your heart and soul out there for people to connect to. Being real is the true part of it all.

I feel that book displays the fake happiness that people turn to, and think what will make them happy in life as an actor/dancer/singer is being famous. The word isn’t even attractive, and that is not what it is about. We have so much beauty around us. Being interactive and enjoying the surroundings is attractive.

More book reading needs to happen outside in the woods with the phones off. Society has created this image that people feel they need to chase. Chase each other outside and join minds to be creative in an attractive way.

Follow Rebekah

Rebekah will be appearing in Bar S Entertainment’s production of Bachelorette by Leslye Headland.

Watch  it June 3rd-7th in Vancouver, BC

Get tickets here.

You Can also follow Rebekah by checking her out on:

  

 

Check out her music: soundcloud.com/bexxmusic

Visit her website: bexxofficialmusic.com