Jaylee: I have high aspirations. I’m not going anywhere but up, and I’m done being ashamed of it.

Sometimes our goals take much longer to reach, than one expects it to be. A bunch of other things and experiences and lessons happen in between, that all lead up to the fulfillment of a goal. It’s about keeping that momentum. Those 10,000 hours as some count it to be; all the blood, sweat, and tears. It’s not about the momentum of others around you – it’s your momentum.

I have realized that I need to just keep working hard, no matter what rut I feel like I’m in, or that I’m falling behind – running out of time – and just know that I am like a train.

*insert the little engine that could*

I just tell myself, “Everything, and everybody else, is just catching up. You’re on the right track, just keep pushing forward.”

It’s so easy to feel like everything is wrong, that you’re missing out, but I know that it’s all about that drive, that motivation, and that energy of momentum that is the force within yourself.

With this mindset – and don’t get me wrong, it takes some nudging, and some chin-upping – I have been seeing a steady growth, and some serious progress internally, transmuting itself externally. It’s been so important, and just – good.

It’s that incline of a hike where you know it’s just that half an hour of hell left to that oh so satisfying view – the top of the mountain where you Titanic the sky, and beat your chest – all that gratifying sweat and hard work, the exaltation in exhaustion, for something so worth it. It was nothing but you and the top – there was no going back down. You do it for yourself. There was that fear, that moment of doubt, but you pushed passed it. And your experience of that challenge, of that accomplishment, of that view, cannot ever be replicated in its affectation upon another human, as it has upon you. It’s a subjective feeling that is completely unique to you.

And it’s like that for everything. 

But to remember to approach work that you’re emotionally invested in, psychologically invested in, physically invested in – is hard. There’s always this anticipation for the other shoe to drop.

It’s okay to be accountable to the things you accomplish. There’s so much polarity in the reception of mindset and outlook, between being optimistic and pessimistic. People are so cynical when you take charge of your life, especially in goals that are unconventional.

Well I have high aspirations, and I’m not going anywhere but up, and I’m done being ashamed of it.

I like my invisible wings…

And it’s paid off. I just booked a pretty awesome role, with it’s own unique challenges for me, and it’s just one of what I know to be many more this year – and to come. It’s all been in the process, and it’s in the journey that I have ahead. And it’s not in this that is the glory, but in knowing that I kept this nodding forward, before, and will be keeping this nodding forward, after.

The pep-talk high. You know, that moment where after someone else gets you in the zone with a kickass speech? And you go, “Shit yeah, I can fucking do this – and I will!” 

We gotta develop that coach within ourselves, to cheer us on through tough times, and just trust our instincts. That has been what I have been working on developing lately, a stronger line of communication and trust in my instincts. So integral to being oneself. To being an open and receptive actor. To being an artist.

 They never fail you – but you sure as hell know when you fail them.

REGRET.

That word.

Every culture references it.

Every language has it’s own word for it.

That oh so universally understood word.

It resounds painfully throughout your entirety every time.

Wave past it – as you move towards your goals with everything you have.