photo (8)It’s 4 am and I can’t sleep.

They say that inspiration and grand ideas usually hit us around this ungodly hour. I think about my day, people, events. Comparisons. Ruminating over how I thought I’d have much more to show for by now. My goals. Oh you know, the usual.

Writing this blog, keeping up with it, staying genuine and open, is a struggle, much like in my pursuit in the craft of acting. To hone my “talent into skill”, as the great Laurence Olivier said; it takes much dedication and passion. The drive to fail and get back up again. To be naked and vulnerable. It’s frightening and liberating at the exact same time. That’s the beauty, to share oneself. There is truly something incredibly strong and beautiful in giving ourselves up to the world on a constant basis. Masochists, putting our hearts out for strangers. It’s like a rebirth, every time, everyday. And that’s why it’s so necessary to fill oneself up independently, with what makes you happy, beside your art, your craft. So you can build yourself back up, rest, rejuvenate, and then be able to share and pour your heart out all over again.

My new hobby, something I quite enjoy, is playing the guitar. It started out from an idea. Then I shoved it away after a couple of months.

Just recently it became a goal. One I strive for, my dream to play the songs that are narratives to my emotions and moods. Day dreams.

Everyday, I dedicate at least 30 minutes to practicing it, from scratch, developing good, strong habits. It’s tough, anyone who’s hunkered down to learn an instrument can attest to that. But the rewards, small, slowly but surely, are so worth it. Overcoming the pain. The gradual callouses. Flexibility in your fingers and hand. War wounds. Plucking and strumming.

Just like any goal, this endeavor, takes dedication and diligence. Much like life.

Mastering your brain.

We get lazy, caught up in the extraneous details. Complain about the pain or speed bumps.

We are responsible for our own stagnation.

When you plateau, it’s time for a new challenge.

The universe is literally telling you, you’ve reached your boundaries, it’s time for you to push to new limits.

As my wonderful mentor puts it, to keep your edge, you must constantly increase it. Do what you fear.

I absolutely believe people come into your life at one time or another, for a reason. Some that connect, others that don’t. Each person different but special. Even if the lesson wasn’t the most convenient or comfortable.

A friend of mine that I had the pleasure of learning alongside and working with, sent me a great article written by the hysterical Jerry Seinfeld. He came up with this regimented schedule, of working on his craft everyday. Marking an x on each day on his calendar, establishing a chain of x’s. His motto: don’t break the chain. To break that cycle of procrastination.

The long-running sitcom that’s a constant award winner, is his.

Moral of the story: go work for yourself.

I guess this entry is about doing so much for yourself this time, and from now on. And then just taking the pressure off. When you are constantly working to make your goals happen, but also to please yourself, that’s when an inner peace within can be reached.

Well, for just longer than a moment at least.

 “The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.” – Alfred Hitchcock

Jaylee: “Don’t Break the Chain” – Inspiration at 4am
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Since I was a kid I’ve found something magnetic in the storytelling process; to delve into another being, learn from them, and share their truth. I’m now pursuing a career in film and television.