Jaylee: Patience can wear thin. Nonetheless, even the a$$holes are interesting…

I find people fascinating – as an actor you kind of have to. Granted, I can be pretty bitter at times as I usually see people at their worst; which ironically is where I learn the most about them – when they bring their private selves into the public sphere. I’m a student, server, style specialist, and am forced to tell square people I’m an actor. Oh – and I use Facebook.

As a regular person, let alone being an actor, patience can wear thin – but is definitely a virtue. Nonetheless, even the assholes are interesting. They had to get there somehow, right?

Recently I’ve been mulling over what on Earth I was going to write about for my next entry… and then through some random ADD-lightning thoughts, I wondered about love. I know one thing: I don’t understand it really. I have felt familial love, and love towards my closest friends. Then I have also felt a strange version of these tingly feelings, that makes me feel a variety of emotions – some of which I don’t like, and how long they last… Empathy. Which I believe is a form of this force. If you don’t believe me – read Isaac Asimov’s “I, Robot”. (Or just watch the Will Smith movie. It’s pretty fantastic.) The ghost in the machine…?

Our ability to “love” is a phenomenon, one I find intriguing with its different forms, conditions, it’s ability to be unconditional – and even though it seems tangible – it’s invisibility. It retains an ever-changing velocity.
What makes this entity strong enough to bring even two cataclysmically different people together? To one’s knees – or knee… *shudders*
To bring one to devote one’s life to somebody, to a passion, or to sacrifice?
To even murder.
And thus, what constitutes the basis of it. Truth?

We all have skeletons in the closet; they are facts about us that we withdraw from our forefront – the impressions we give. When we meet someone, they’re usually not the center of conversation – especially on a first date. Or even a second or third date. Some are big ones, some are smaller. Some we reserve for a special place to be talked about with very certain, special people. Others not a soul knows. Some we don’t even think about, others we force ourselves not to think about.

Is it better to know the “truth” before you “love” someone; get it all out on the table, and love them for them?

Or is it better to fall in “love” and then reveal the “truth(s)”, because you’ve finally crossed the threshold of sanctity? Would you really still “love” them?
Or, is it better not to know at all? The past is the past.
Does it even matter?

People always stress, “tell the truth”, “the truth is everything”, “a relationship can go no where without a foundation rooted in honesty”… But does it really? What kind?
Can we learn from others who’ve been in those situations? But each situation and result is different right? People are different. Look at a few t.v. shows that question these two themes: “Breaking Bad”, “Suits”, “Beauty and the Beast”, and “Dexter”. Even “Twilight” in all its teenage glory. Is love powerful enough to overcome our deepest, darkest secrets – the truth? To rejoice?

Michael Shurtleff, author of “The Audition”, says the character should always have a “secret.”  

An edge of “mystery.” This character is of course a person with wants and needs. As I have mentioned before, him and many other acting teachers have also taught to fight for love in the scene. Stay. It’s our job to substantiate every aspect of this being, and to create their life. Life happens – or there would be no scene.

The truth is definitely mysterious, and the way it too can bring two cataclysmically different people together, to one’s knees – or knee, cause someone to devote their life to someone, passion, or sacrifice – to even murder.

I think truth possesses a duality – caught between motive and consequence. It’s traditional and contemporary. Its terrifying and liberating. It’s the past and future.
So are the two bound to one another?

Besides free-will, creativity, and whatever else you believe is intrinsic to the soul, is the part that is love formed through different truths; those that are ours, and those that belong to others?

I think so. Maybe I am a romantic at heart. But shh, it’s a secret.

Well? Do I dare open the floor to this loaded topic?